- + How Much Do You Love Me? —A girl asks a boy, "Peter, how much do you love me?" The boy looks her in the eyes, "Look up at the stars, that's how much I love y...
- + Salad for Dinner —I came home from work this evening and said to my wife, "Are we having salad for dinner?" "Yes we are, how did you know?" she aske...
- + Wonder Woman and Spider-Man —What would Wonder Woman and Spider-Man name their business? Amazon Web Services. #joke #short Read more on page https://jokesofthed...
- + Young Deer —A young deer in the woods learned to use all four hooves equally well... He was known to be bambidextrous. #joke #short #animal #deer ...
- + And Scene —"Are you an actress, auntie?" "No darling, why do you ask?" "Because Daddy says whenever you come over, we have a scene."...
- + Triple the Laugh —Saw the cutest TRIPLETS in the mall last week. Each had a personalized shirt. 1st shirt said: I WAS PLANNED. 2nd one said: I WAS NOT. 3rd said: ME NEI...
- + When You See A Spaceman —What do you do when you see a SPACEMAN? You park your car in it! #joke #short Read more on page https://jokesoftheday.net
- + Hope It's A Boy —A woman in labor suddenly shouted, "Shouldn't! Wouldn't! Couldn't! Didn't! Can't!" "Doctor, what's going on?&qu...
- + Definition of Nutella —Nutella: Noun God's favourite spreadable condiment; typically manufactured by pixies in the magical Land of Yum. #joke #short Re...
- + Conveyor Belt Job —During college, I worked on a conveyor belt. One day, I was on a blind date, and she asked me about my job. "I work at the end of a belt," ...
- + Last Year On Cyber Monday —Last year I bought an instructional boxing DVD on Cyber Monday. This year I went shopping on Black Friday! #joke #short #friday #monday...
- + It Kept On Defrosting —My wife was getting annoyed that I kept leaving freezer door open and it kept on defrosting. We have since split up, it’s all water under the fridge. ...
- + Giggle and Gobble —Why did the Turkey snicker alongside the stuffing? It was an inside joke. #joke #short #animal #turkey Read more on page https://...
- + Playing Poker —I once played poker with tarot cards... I got a full house and four people died. #joke #short Read more on page https://jokesofthed...
- + Cognitive Consideration —I know. I know. People say, "It's the thought that counts, not the gift." But couldn't people learn to think a bit bigger?!?! ...
- + Catch and Retweet —Give a man a fish, and he’ll Instagram it... Teach a man to fish, and he’ll still Instagram it. #joke #short #animal #fish Read m...
- + Musical Payment —How do musicians pay their debts? With quarter notes. #joke #short Read more on page https://jokesoftheday.net
- + What Part of the Body —What part of the human body is called the "yet"? I don't know either, but in the paper it said this lady got shot and they haven't g...
- + A black guy goes into an electronics store —A black guy goes into an electronics store. He tells the salesman "I'm here to see your hi-fis. Maybe Panasonic, Yamaha, or Sharp." The salesman s...
- + Little Johnny and the Flies —Teacher: If there are seven flies and I hit one with a ruler, how many are left? Little Johnny: Just the squashed one. #joke #short ...
- + A Mom is driving a little girl to her friends... —A Mom is driving a little girl to her friends house for a play date. "Mommy," the little girl asks, "How old are you?" "Honey, you are not supposed to...
- + Feelings —The wife told her husband, "Let's go antique shopping today. I'm feeling Victorian." "No," he said, "let's not......
- + Pick Your Poison —In Ancient Rome there were 4 types of poison. Poison I, II and III would all kill you. However Poison IV, would make you really itchy. #jo...
- + I Gave My Father $100 —I gave my father $100 and said, “Buy yourself something that will make your life easier.” So he went out and bought a present for my mother. ...
- + Doctor, my Girlfriend is pregnant but we always use protection... —Guy : Doctor, my Girlfriend is pregnant but we always use protection and the rubber never broke. How is it possible? Doctor : Let me tell you a stor...
- + A guy finds a genie who offers him one wish. Already rich... —A guy finds a genie who offers him one wish. Already rich and happy, he asks to always climax at the same time as his wife. A few weeks later, he’s ...
- + Two bored male casino dealers are waiting at the craps table... —Two bored male casino dealers are waiting at the craps table. A very attractive blond woman arrives and bets $20,000 on a single roll of the dice. S...
- + A man walks into a open Hollywood audition… —A man walks into a open Hollywood audition. He gets inside and begins to fill out his audition form, rehearse his monologue, and stand in line. Af...
- + Your Vote That Counts —In a democracy it's your vote that counts... In feudalism, it's your Count that votes! #joke #short Read more on page https...
- + A man has three girlfriends but doesn't know which... —A man has three girlfriends but doesn't know which one to marry. So as a test, he gives each of them $5,000 to see how they spend them. The first ...
- + My Bad Dude —Apparently, this dude at the mall was just tying his shoe and did NOT want to play leap frog. My bad dude, my bad... #joke #short #anima...
- + My neighbor. She’s single. S... —My neighbor. She’s single. She’s shapely & beautiful and she lives right across the street. I watched her as she got home from work this evening...
- + A, B, or C? —A mother walked up to the pharmacist and said, "I would like vitamins for my son." "Vitamin A, B or C?" the pharmacist asked. It d...
- + My 7-year-old asked me to take —My 7-year-old asked me to take him to McDonald's. I told him if he can spell it, I'll take him. He said, "Fuck it, take me to KFC." ...
- + Bibles to Boats —A young man from Nebraska moves to Florida and goes to a big "everything under one roof" department store looking for a job. The manager asks, "Do you...
- + Who Shall Pass First —Hey Dad, can you pass the salt? I don't know, son, can you pass the semester? #joke #short #food #salt Read more on page htt...
As of 12/21/24 12:10pm. Last new 12/20/24 11:28pm. Score: 479
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